I missed my one-year anniversary of blogging! This blog was first created out of desperation on April 26, 2016. Let’s see, back then I was freaking out about my company closing, and about needing two knee surgeries instead of one. All perfectly logical reasons to freak out, in my opinion. While I’m more focused on other projects now, I’m glad I started this blog when I did. It’s nice being able to look at my thoughts and progress from the last year. Sometimes I’ve wanted to remember milestones from the first surgery, so it’s handy being able to look back through my blog.
I haven’t been updating because nothing changed in the last month – except for my recovering progress, of course. My walker has been sitting in the corner of my room since last month, I moved to the cane, and now I don’t even need the cane when walking around my house. I’m still wearing the small brace though. My original follow-up appointment with the doctor was May 18th, but she’s going to a medical conference, so now I won’t see her or the hospital’s physical therapist until May 30th. Frankly I don’t mind. At this point I think I just need to do my exercises until I’m fully recovered.
One sort-of interesting change is that I’m using a muscle stimulation wrap that was (hopefully) covered by my insurance. Electrodes literally zap my quad muscle to make it stronger. Plus I control the strength through an app on my phone. I’ve experienced this in physical therapy before, so I guess this is the home version.
Not to jinx myself, but writing has been going really well too. There was a break in freelancing assignments so I got to work on my novel. It’s close to 30,000 words now and I finally have a clear idea of what the ending will be. This might be a little too optimistic but I might even finish this draft by the end of the year.
I haven’t returned to baking yet, unfortunately. I should flip through my cookbooks again and pick something for this week.
My writerly self has been all over the place for a long while. I don’t know if I want to work on fan fiction, original work, even personal essays. Plus The Holidays are distracting so when I’m not with family I’m watching Christmas movies on Netflix or Youtube. Maybe it’s time I read an actual book again rather than online articles about how much the Gilmore Girls revival sucked.
Anyway, while rambling on tumblr about how much I can’t stand Rory Gilmore, I remembered a website I bookmarked a while back. Medium.com is basically a social network for the types of posts I like to write, aka, long-winded editorials that make the author sound smart when we’re really just ranting about the world. Any posts related to media and pop culture – mostly TV shows – will be posted here. I might move my baking posts there depending on how it goes.
Thanks for reading! Happy Holidays everyone!
Reactions are sometimes unpredictable. Typically, I can write essays about the most random, pointless topics just from the jumble of thoughts in my head, no prompting necessary. Many have been posted on this blog. I ramble about any topic that crosses my mind on an average day.
So you’d think, when something big happens in my life, the first thing I’d want to do is write a blog post about it. Instead, my surgery is tomorrow and I almost didn’t post anything. This is why I never kept a diary. I don’t enjoy rattling off daily events. To me, there’s no point unless I put thought behind it, or tie multiple events together to see how they fit. I’d rather post my insights or my view of how something should be. No matter how exciting events might be to the person living them, people on the outside won’t get it unless they relate to it. Unless this person is a relevant celebrity – then everyone cares about everything, no matter how minor the event.
Anyway, that’s part of my hesitation. The other, much bigger part is how I react to major events. I don’t like to examine them. Once my nerves have settled down to a resting state, I’d rather not stir them up again. I’m glad the clearance went through and I’m good to go for tomorrow, but at the same time, I don’t want to think about surgery tomorrow. All anyone’s been saying is that I’ve been through worse. This is true, but this surgery is tomorrow while “worse” is in the distant past. I can’t help the irrational fears and exaggerated “what ifs” that make me forget why I wanted this surgery in the first place.
At least I go to the hospital in the morning tomorrow, so I’ll have a little less time to freak myself out. I might start posting again as early as next week if I have enough energy for it.