Another Ground-Breaking Opinion on Ross and Rachel

I realize the last thing this world needs is my opinion on Ross Geller and Rachel Green’s breakup. Fans have debated/fought/screamed about it since it first aired. I’m willing to bet money that someone, somewhere, is discussing The Breakup at this very moment. But you know what, I’m watching season three (for the upteenth time), and I’ve never spelled out my thoughts on this particular topic before despite being a die-hard Friends fan.

So, the Short Version: Both Ross and Rachel messed up. They weren’t meant to be together at that point in their lives. I’m not even a big fan of them as end-game. (I prefer Monica Geller and Chandler Bing, or “Mondler.”)

The Long Version:

Let’s go over Ross and Rachel’s relationship. Even when it’s good, it isn’t perfect. They fight constantly and have no common interests, even mock each other’s careers. At the root of it they lack respect for each other. Instead of trying to overcome their communication issues they brush them aside. Ross doesn’t trust Rachel with Mark right from the beginning and never makes a real effort to change. While Rachel never has any intentions to cheat on him, telling Ross she wants to keep part of her life separate (episode 3.14) isn’t reassuring. Rachel becomes more focused on work and neglects Ross. Meanwhile, Ross plans their future together and blames Mark for her disinterest entirely.

I don’t believe Ross ever sees Rachel for who she really is. Even after she’s been in the real world for three years, he still thinks of her as the spoiled princess he knew in high school. He’s her knight in shining armor who can whisk her away to a picket-fences life in the suburbs. He has no idea she’s still running from that picture and the expectations of the world she left. I suspect this is partly because he’s still recovering from his own disastrous relationship and needs to be the knight in shining armor again to boost his fragile ego. To him, everything falls into place: “The girl I crushed on in high school comes back to me right after my marriage ended. We’re meant to be.” It never occurs to him she’s not in the same frame of mind.

With that shaky foundation, they’re bound to collapse eventually. Their ruined anniversary and a one-night stand happens to be the trigger. In a way it’s similar to Monica’s breakup with Richard Burke – Ross and Rachel want different things at this point in their lives. Ross wants to be married again and Rachel has a newfound career. They’re never going to work until Rachel achieves her professional goals and feels ready to settle down.

That’s why I don’t care who did what. Rachel should have acknowledged their anniversary and promised to make up for missing it. Ross should’ve talked things out with Rachel and not hooked up with ChloeRegardless, their relationship is doomed to fail from the start.



I never liked keeping journals. This always bugged me, because as a writer, I should have a journal. I should have dozens of notebooks filled with my life’s stories by now. Half a dozen blogs, even a LiveJournal later, nothing ever stuck. Maybe the moral here is my daily life doesn’t compare to fiction. Why write about myself when I can make up much more interesting characters?

That was true for a long while. Now, I can’t make this stuff up.

It’s all 2016’s fault. Everything was fine until – literally – New Year’s Day. I decided to buy a car. Why is this a big deal when I’m 27-years-old? Well, um, as a New Yorker, I got by for years without driving at all. I didn’t get my license until I was 24, and even then it must have been a belated Christmas miracle when the examiner passed me on December 26th that year. I’m talking like, an actual angel sitting next to me in the car and taking pity on my soul. I’m still not comfortable behind the wheel even though I’m now paying for the car and insurance every month. The plan was to practice constantly then bring it home from my aunt’s house, which is an hour away.

Let’s save that for another post.

Soon after, things started getting crazy at my job. Naturally, right? I finally buy a car and the big boss decides to retire? Oh yes, the company is closing after being in business for thirty years. I’ll be unemployed in a couple weeks tops, if that. Bright side here is I never would’ve bought the stupid car if I’d had any inkling of what was going on before I signed my life away. Also fortunately, that’s an exaggeration since I have enough savings to keep me going for a while. At the time I heard this I thought, well, unemployment sucks but at least I’ll have a car when I look for my new job.

Then I met with an orthopedic surgeon in March. This is also another post, but the highlights? I need two consecutive knee surgeries. My knees have always been bad and I wanted to get them fixed, but I thought it was just the one I didn’t have done ten years ago. Nope, both, one after the other.

So driving, and the new job, will have to wait until I’m all recovered in about six months.


This blog was created out of desperation. If I write down some of my thoughts here, maybe they won’t turn over and over in my mind during the day.